you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
