We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
