She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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