everyone is single if you try hard enough
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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