john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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