bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
