Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
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I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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