Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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