plz talk dirty to me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
