Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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