And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
well you can't waste a boner
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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