Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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