when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
