halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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