Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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