My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
