We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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