I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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