I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my shit smells like andre
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
