it was like his penis was on wheels.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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