YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
