I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
