Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
