You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
