she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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