Sry I called you an 8
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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