A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i will never coherently bang her
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
