Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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