you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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