WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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