So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
