i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
