I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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