i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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