I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
