youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize