So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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