He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
