the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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