3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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