So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
