fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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