shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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