If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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