So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
