If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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