i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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