Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
