Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
