she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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