Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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