Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
