4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!