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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.

  (585): View more from New York

  I hate you.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.

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  25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings

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• (438): View more from Quebec

  I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (516): View more from New York

  today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies

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