i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
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he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.