butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
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You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
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Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life