: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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