i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
