he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
