How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
