her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize